The assessment that I have been working on was a bit delayed this time...there have been a few very negative aspects in my life..but I am determined to make them a positive...and here I am...
I am in need of the psycho spiritual aspect at this point. I am really down on myself for not meeting my own expectations, disappointing to others, and working to the point of mental and physical exhaustion. I need to define not only to myself but to others my needs met as well.
I find that I am a very giving person, and giving to a fault. I give to family members, friends, and others more than I have to offer, mainly my time. I love that I am able to help. I still need other family members to step up and take over...they are just not complying with the need.
Nearly lost my brother two weeks ago, there are so many items that I could really go into detail with that...but not to bore or give that much info in this forum. The doctors believe that my uncle has lung cancer again.....he nearly lost his fight earlier this year...and my husband lost his job. This has been an unbelievable year for me....my spirit is in dire need of a time out so that I can regenerate, recharge, and renew...as in the mythical phoenix.
I hope that you all can forgive my lacking performances as of late...as I have turned many of these items to others....I still bare most of the responsibility....and another positive aspect....my husband may have found a job...if only we can get his truck from the repair shop....its been there three months now....
I still need for my spirit to heal so that I can continue with helping others....my strongest point is that I manage to help others despite my personal storms....it is also a down fall....
Returning to a still and quiet mind has been a life saver as of late....and thank you for you patience there...
The Loving-Kindness I tried again...this time despite the aggravation that I have with this one (all of the talking) I was able to give more than before...and release some of the burdens that I tend to carry alone...release of the pain...my physical...and to give to others healing...the ones that I have issues with...well that one I will need to work on...but I see karma in that state...back to the topic...I did have more emotions that were expressed this time as I played my music and kept the words in my mind of the release, healing, loving thoughts sent through the up lifting music....
Jeni,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear all that you are going through in life right now. I believe that this weeks contemplative practice would really be useful to you. By focusing on one positive person of influence, there is a possibility that you will be able to face the difficulties in your life with a more promising outlook and thus not be affected negatively. I also know I cannot understand exactly what you are going through but the practice is worth trying and I hope you will be able to get over the challenges more stronger and more resilient. All the best.